Schweeeeet!

I'll never loose my remotes again. Thank you God!

It's a homo's devil machine!

I have some bad news peeps. We all have to destroy our computers. I had no idea that they were homo devil machines. This really sucks, because I kinda like playing around on mine. How are we supposed to visit the URL on her sign if we destroy our computers? Oh well. I guess I'm gonna get off of here so I can smash this effin gay ass devil machine! Peace.

A picture is worth a thousand words

Blow it out your arse!

Turtles can breathe through their butt. Just thought you should know that.

Stop the Jibba Jabba!

You know what I really like about Mr. T, other than him being a midget?

He pittys the fool.

You know why he pittys the fool?

He ain't got no time for the jibba jabba!

If you think about it, who really does have time for a bunch of jibba jabba?

I think we should all cut back on the jibba jabba, then there would be a lot less fools to pity.

I'm just sayin'.

Did You Know?

• Ants don't sleep.


• Owls have eyeballs that are tubular in shape, because of this, they cannot move their eyes.


• A bird requires more food in proportion to its size than a baby or a cat.


• The mouse is the most common mammal in the US.


• A newborn kangaroo is about 1 inch in length.


• A cow gives nearly 200,000 glasses of milk in her lifetime.


• The Canary Islands were not named for a bird called a canary. They were names after a breed of large dogs. The Latin name was Canariae insulae - "Island of Dogs."


• There are 701 types of pure breed dogs.


• A polecat is not a cat. It is a nocturnal European weasel.


• Tapeworms range in size from about 0.04 inch to more than 50 feet in length.


• A baby bat is called a pup.


• German Shepherds bite humans more than any other breed of dog.


• A female mackerel lays about 500,000 eggs at one time.


• It takes 35 to 65 minks to produce the average mink coat. The numbers for other types of fur coats are: beaver - 15; fox - 15 to 25; ermine - 150; chinchilla - 60 to 100.


• The animal responsible for the most human deaths world-wide is the mosquito.


• The biggest pig in recorded history was Big Boy of Black Mountain, North Carolina, who was weighed at 1,904 pounds in 1939.


• Cats respond most readily to names that end in an "ee" sound.


• A cat cannot see directly under its nose. This is why the cats cannot seem to find tidbits on the floor.


• Pigs, walruses and light-colored horses can be sunburned.


• Snakes are immune to their own poison.


• An iguana can stay under water for 28 minutes.


• Cats have more than one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.


• The biggest member of the cat family is the male lion, which weighs 528 pounds (240 kilograms).


• Most lipstick contains fish scales.


• Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants.


• Each day in the US, animal shelters are forced to destroy 30,000 dogs and cats.


• A shrimp's heart is in their head.


• A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.


• A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death.


• The cat lover is an ailurophile, while a cat hater is an ailurophobe.


• A woodpecker can peck twenty times a second.


• It may take longer than two days for a chick to break out of its shell.


• dragonflies are one of the fastest insects, flying 50 to 60 mph.


• Despite man's fear and hatred of the wolf, it has not ever been proved that a non-rabid wolf ever attacked a human.


• There are more than 100 million dogs and cats in the United States.


• Americans spend more than 5.4 billion dollars on their pets each year.


• Cat's urine glows under a black light.


• The largest cockroach on record is one measured at 3.81 inches in length.


• It is estimated that a single toad may catch and eat as many as 10,000 insects in the course of a summer.


• Amphibians eyes come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Some even have square or heart-shaped pupils.


• It would require an average of 18 hummingbirds to weigh in at 1 ounce.


• Dogs that do not tolerate small children well are the St. Bernard, the Old English sheep dog, the Alaskan malamute, the bull terrier, and the toy poodle.


• Moles are able to tunnel through 300 feet of earth in a day.


• Howler monkeys are the noisiest land animals. Their calls can be heard over 2 miles away.


• A quarter of the horses in the US died of a vast virus epidemic in 1872.


• The fastest bird is the Spine-tailed swift, clocked at speeds of up to 220 miles per hour.


• There is no single cat called the panther. The name is commonly applied the leopard, but it is also used to refer to the puma and the jaguar. A black panther is really a black leopard.


• A capon is a castrated rooster.


• The world's largest rodent is the Capybara. An Amazon water hog that looks like a guinea pig, it can weigh more than 100 pounds.


• The poison-arrow frog has enough poison to kill about 2,200 people.


• The hummingbird, the loon, the swift, the kingfisher, and the grebe are all birds that cannot walk.


• The poisonous copperhead snake smells like fresh cut cucumbers.


• A chameleon's tongue is twice the length of its body.


• Worker ants may live seven years and the queen may live as long as 15 years.


• The blood of mammals is red, the blood of insects is yellow, and the blood of lobsters is blue.


• Cheetahs make a chirping sound that is much like a bird's chirp or a dog's yelp. The sound is so intense, it can be heard a mile away.


• the underside of a horse's hoof is called a frog. The frog peels off several times a year with new growth.


• The bloodhound is the only animal whose evidence is admissible in an American court.


• 98% of brown bears in the United States are in Alaska.


• Before air conditioning was invented, white cotton slipcovers were put on furniture to keep the air cool.


• The barbie doll has more than 80 careers.


• To make on pound of whole milk cheese, 10 pounds of whole mild is needed.


• 99% of pumpkins that are sold for decoration.


• Every 30 seconds a house fire doubles in size.


• The month of December is the most popular month for weddings in the Philippines.


• A one ounce milk chocolate bar has 6 mg of caffeine.


• Carbon monoxide can kill a person in less than 15 minutes.


• The largest ever hailstone weighed over 1 kg and fell in Bangladesh in 1986.


• Ants can live up to 16 years.


• In Belgium, there is a museum that is just for strawberries.


• The sense of smell of an ant is just as good as a dog's.


• Popped popcorn should be stored in the freezer or refrigerator as this way it can stay crunchy for up to three weeks.


• The most common name in the world is Mohammed.


• The names of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.


• The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.


• TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.


• Women blink nearly twice as much as men.


• You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.


• It is impossible to lick your elbow.


• People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.


• It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.


• the "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.


• If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.


• Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. Spades-King David, Clubs-Alexander the Great, Hearts-Charlemagne, Diamonds-Julius Caesar.


• 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321


• If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.


• What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common? Ans. - All invented by women.


• Honey is the only food that doesn't spoil.


• A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.


• A snail can sleep for three years.


• All polar bears are left handed.


• American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.


• Butterflies taste with their feet.


• Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.


• In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.


• On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.


• Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.


• Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.


• The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.


• The electric chair was invented by a dentist.


• The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.


• Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.


• The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.


• Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print if different.
  

Just kidding. I made all that shit up. =) LOL, OMG...ROFLMAO, J/K, WTF...WWJD, dot dot dot, STFU, OMFG...LMAO...

Move Over iPod, Here Cums the gPod!

The gPod, a product of Japanese sex toy company Joymind , consists of a handset that can connect to a music player, television or mobile phone. The sounds it receives are then detected by low, medium and high music frequency sensors and sent on to a dong looking object.

In other words, plug one end of the handset into your iPod and the other end into your chick, and turn that shit up (a.k.a. bang that shit retarded)!

I can also see this very useful when it comes to cell phones. It gives phone sex a whole new meaning. A definate plus when it comes to long distance relationships.

I might even have to take up karaoke if you can plug a mic into one of these bad boys.

Karaoke night!!!

Those Japs are so smart! Why couldn't I have come up with this? Oh well...Hey! What about an aPod??? CHA CHING!!!